Parenting Children & Teens with Reactive Attachment Disorder

What happens when the mother reassigns a different motive to the child's cry and decides not to be responsive? A youngster cries for a reason - not to manipulate his parent, not to be mean, or nasty, or to be a "pain in the neck." When, instead of trying to discern what her youngster needs, a mother simply says - "oh, he's just tired," or "he has to deal with sleeping by himself now" - she has given her baby the idea that expressing his inner-self is wrong or bad. A baby is like someone who is quadriplegic. He can't do very much for himself - but that doesn't mean that he isn't thinking and feeling. When the baby cries and his mother responds, the youngster learns to have trust in the world around him and to have trust in himself. When the baby cries and his mother listens, the two join together in a moment of oneness that transcends the separateness, the aloneness, which the baby knows all too well. If the youngster has not

What doesn't work: 1. Attempting to persuade the RAD youngster to change his mind by presenting “logical, reasonable, or “practical information”. RAD kids are highly unlikely to be influenced by reasonableness. Adult efforts to do so look “stupid” to a RAD youngster an can intensify his lack of feeling safe. 2. Emotional reactivity. RAD kids experience parents' frustration and anger as proof that the youngster is effectively controlling his parents' emotions. This only inflates their grandiose sense of power. 3. Negotiating with a RAD youngster. 4. Rescuing the youngster from the consequences of her behavior and / or attempting to solve the RAD youngster's problems for her. Philosophy— While love and parental common sense are necessary ingredients to successfully parent a youngster with attachment difficulties, they are rarely sufficient. This is due to the fact that most kids with attachment problems are too guarded and too distrustful to rec

How the Attachment Bond Shapes Adult Relationships— You were born pre-programmed to bond with one very significant person—your primary caretaker, probably your mother. Like all babies, you were a bundle of emotions—intensely experiencing fear, anger, sadness, and joy.  The emotional attachment that grew between you and your caretaker was the first interactive relationship of your life, and it depended upon nonverbal communication. The bonding you experienced determined how you would relate to other human beings throughout your life, because it established the foundation for all verbal and nonverbal communication in your future interactions. People who experience confusing, frightening, or broken emotional communications during their infancy often grow into grown-ups who have difficulty understanding their own emotions and the feelings of others. This limits their ability to build or maintain successful interactions. Attachment—the interaction between babies and their primary

Symptoms and Repair of Poor Attachment and Reactive Attachment Disorder— When babies and young kids have a loving caregiver consistently responding to their needs, they build a secure attachment. This lifelong bond affects growth, development, trust and the ability to build relationships. However, severely confusing, frightening and isolating emotional experiences early in life disrupts this bond, creating insecure attachment. In extreme circumstances, this can result in attachment disorders. Problems with attachment limit a youngster’s ability to be emotionally present, flexible and able to communicate in ways that build satisfying and meaningful relationships. The earlier attachment disruptions are caught, the better. However, it is never too late to treat and repair attachment difficulties. With the right tools, and a healthy dose of time, patience and love, attachment repair can and does happen. What is insecure attachment? Attachment is the process of bonding bet

The research in the field of attachment opens up a whole new world for all of us in understanding the problems of parents and kids. Attachment is the emotional connection between any two people. However, life's first attachments are by far the most important, as they set a template for all later relationships. Attachment between young ones and parents evolved naturally eons ago, as the infants and kids who developed a strong need to remain near their moms & dads were the ones who were most likely to survive - both physically and psychologically. Kids who feel the most secure in their early relationships with moms & dads have tremendous advantages in life. They tend to grow up feeling good about themselves and others. They cope well with life's ups and downs, and they have a strong capacity for empathy. These young ones naturally form other healthy, close relationships as they go out into the world. Young ones who have not developed a healthy, secure attachment with mo

While it's not known if reactive attachment disorder can be prevented with certainty, there may be ways to reduce the risk of its development: Be actively engaged with babies and kids in your care by playing with them, talking to them, making eye contact or smiling at them, for example. Don't miss opportunities to provide warm, nurturing interaction with your baby or youngster, such as during feeding, bathing or diapering. If you lack experience or skill with babies or kids, take classes or volunteer with kids so that you can learn how to interact in a nurturing manner. If your baby or youngster has a background that includes orphanages or foster care, educate yourself about attachment and develop specific skills to help your youngster bond. If you're an adult with attachment problems, it's not too late to get professional help. Getting help may prevent you from having attachment problems with your kids, who otherwise may also be at risk. Learn to interpret

Reactive attachment disorder is considered uncommon. It can affect kids of any race or either sex. By definition, reactive attachment disorder begins before age 5, although its roots start in infancy. Several risk factors can contribute to the occurrence of reactive attachment disorder. Parental or caregiver related risk factors: Aggressive behavior towards kids when they request comfort Being abused, neglect, and abandonment by primary caregivers Being raised by parents with different psychological conditions (such as unipolar or bipolar disorder, postpartum depression, substance abuse, anger management problems, or attachment disorder) Forced removal from a neglectful home Frequent changes in foster care or caregivers Inexperienced parents that provide inconsistent or inappropriate care Maternal ambivalence toward pregnancy Child related risk factors: Being separated from parents/caregivers due to prolong hospitalization Difficult temperament Premature bi

Attachment disorders are the psychological result of negative experiences with caretakers, usually since infancy, that disrupt the exclusive and unique relationship between kids and their primary caretaker(s). Oppositional and defiant behaviors may be the result of disruptions in attachment. Many kids experience the loss of primary caretakers either because they are physically separated from them or because the caretaker is incapable of providing adequate care. Removal from primary caretakers can cause serious problems by breaking primary attachments, even if alternate caretakers are competent. Attachment disorders have been described in the psychological and psychiatric literature for approximately 50 years. The condition Rene Spitz called anaclitic depression is now considered an attachment disorder. Spitz observed young kids in an orphanage who were fed and kept clean and were initially in good physical condition but who received no consistent affection from a sole caret